Most effective food aphrodisiacs

Most effective food aphrodisiacs
What you knead to get it on
ShareThis Print This Post By Lucy Moore
Sex Columnist


Posted March 31, 2010 at 12:00 am

Updated March 31, 2010 at 4:16 am

1. Liver & onions

As Doug’s sister Judy from Nickelodeon’s 1990s cartoon “Doug” so aptly put it, “In order to eat liver and onions, you must become liver and onions!” Although this line exists merely in reference to Doug’s unabated hatred for the food combination, it references the corporal, almost-earthy quality of the dish. While the smooth exterior of the liver meat reminds us of our organs (and genitals), the rustic, pungent odor of the onions, reminds us of the erotic scent of the body. Combine these symbolic qualities with the texture and heated semblance of these foods across your naked partner’s body, and you’ll be ready for a night that’s bound to get physical.

2. Lard

This pig-derived fat concentrate, similar to butter, can be compared erotically to whipped cream or even the crude oil once used in ancient Roman homosocial activities. Mostly consumed in contemporary British cuisine, lard can also be considered akin to the sexiness of a British accent to Americans: foreign, dashing and somehow more culturally cultivated. Even more, the solid form of lard is much like any pocket of skin you might massage during foreplay. So spread it on, spread it around, use it like lube or knead it between your fingers to stimulate your fleshy creativity.

3. Ranch dressing

Stocked with a comparable amount of calories to that of semen, the flavor and consistency of ranch dressing strewn across a salad of phallic vegetation such as baby carrots and celery sticks is sure to do the trick. Nearly crude in its bottled form, once exacted upon a salad, sandwich or naked body of curvature, ranch dressing comes alive for one to lick lustfully, perhaps in lieu of medically risky bodily fluid consumption.

4. Soy dog

The soy dog is the ecoli-free version of the hot dog; not only can it be warmed up in the microwave in a similar fashion to the Pyrex dildo, but it also avoids both the vegetarian’s dilemma as well as any serious bacterial concerns. The soy dog can be used as a teaser (think running its shaft along one’s lips in a seductive manner) or a makeshift sex toy. Remember, though: Don’t let the soy dog become a replacement for your man!


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5. Chicken wings

Although chicken wings don’t have the same vegan-friendly properties as the soy dog, these superbly acidic and scrumptiously sticky complements to ranch dressing will bring the power and scent of true football-fan masculinity to any bedroom situation. Smear their spicy drizzling sauce on lips for extra-oomph to serious necking or on the inner thigh to make for a tantalizing trail to your lady’s sweet spot.

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category: Fragrances for Women
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Bruce Willis launches own fragrance

Actor Bruce Willis has launched his own fragrance.

According to Women’s Wear Daily, the 55-year-old actor’s perfume is expected to hit the stores in July.

Willis struck a deal with German cosmetics brand LR Health and Beauty Systems for the launch of his perfume, reports The Daily Express.

Other celebs that have their own brand of perfumes in the market are Beyonce, who launched her perfume Heat, Jennifer Lopez’s Blue Glow and 50 Cent’s Power.

Meanwhile, Bruce is expected to do a cameo with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie The Expendables that is slated for release in 2010.

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category: Fragrances for Men
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Fergie Dishes on New Fragrance 'Outspoken;' Thinks Retouching OK 'In Moderation'

another celeb with a fragrance. fergie! i like her tho haha.

The foxy front woman to the Black Eyed Peas looks glamorous on the May cover of Elle and as reported in today's WWD, she doesn't mind a little help from the digital magic wand when it comes to looking good in print.

She came out with a few juicy sound bites at a luncheon to celebrate her Elle cover and promote her upcoming fragrance launch with Avon, called Outspoken by Fergie, which was attended by a fashionable crowd including Whitney Port, Georgina Chapman and Chris Benz, among others.

WWD reports, "I didn't want to call it Dutchess, or Glamorous, or Fergalicious, or something that I've already done," Fergie said of naming her fragrance. "I didn't want it to be so cutesy. I wanted it to be strong and empowering, something that represents me as a whole woman, a fearless woman."

Outspoken, which will be sold via Avon reps beginning in September, was named to honor independence. "From my music to my wardrobe, my style is all about speaking up and making a statement," said Fergie. That's why my first-ever fragrance exudes independence. Outspoken definitely turns heads, but it also lets your true personality shine through." Her husband, Josh Duhamel, on hand for the event, claimed to be a big fan of the scent, but for another reason. "I didn't like what she was wearing before, but I never told her," the actor said. "But this is good. It just works with my nose, I think."

What else came up at lunch?

The singer's stance on all the retouching in magazines and on covers: "Of course, if there's a big roll of flab coming out somewhere that doesn't look flattering, sure, I'd love that to be lessened, but I don't like to look like a cartoon character, either. I think everything in moderation."

You gotta love Fergie's honesty!

Click here for highlights from the article, including Fergie's response to being called "Fugly."

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